


The Hotdog

by SquareBeans



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, The great hotdog debate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26391961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquareBeans/pseuds/SquareBeans
Summary: Nicole and Waverly debate if a hotdog is a sandwich or a taco
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 22
Kudos: 65





	The Hotdog

**Author's Note:**

> I saw people talking about this so I figured I'd write something because why not? It's fun lol  
> I typed everything on my phone so sorry for any typos

"Hey Waverly?" Nicole Haught looked over at her girlfriend, who was currently sitting at the kitchen table, furiously typing on her laptop.

"Yeah?" Waverly Earp glanced up for a split second and smiled at Nicole. "What's up?"

"Is a hotdog a sandwich?"

"What?" Waverly wasnt looking at the feint blue glow of her laptop screen anymore. "No? It's a taco more than anything. How would it be a sandwich?" 

"Well..." the redhead trailed off before opened the fridge door, behind Waverlys chair. "If you look at it a bun is two slices of bread fused together, right?" 

"Not really, but go on."

Nicole smiled and rolled her eyes, "Even if they're not fused together you can still pull them apart and have two slices of bread." Nicole pulls out a pack of hotdogs and a bag of hotdog buns. "Okay so look..." The redheaded girl opened the package of hotdogs and the bag of buns and pulled one of each out. She grabbed a plate and set it next to the bag of buns. "So you have two slices of bread right?" She puts the hotdog into the bun. "Boom sandwich!" She smiles triumphantly. 

"That's a taco," Waverly gets up and stands next to her girlfriend. "Tacos have three sides. Hotdogs have three sides. Sandwiches have two sides a top and bottom." She points to the sides as she explains her thought process. 

"Turn it to one side then and it has three sides." 

"Its still a taco! It has a bottom a left and a right!" Waverly lays the hotdog on the side. "Its still a freaking taco. Picture this, okay? You're holding a taco... oh wait close your eyes!" Waverly instructs, waiting for the redhead to close her eyes. 

Nicole hesitantly closes her brown eyes and waited. 

"Okay give me your hand." 

"Why?" Nicole opened her eyes and looked at Waverly standing next to her. 

"Just trust me," Waverly smiles tenderly.

Nicole closed her eyes again. She slowly lifted her hand up until she felt Waverlys warm fingers on her wrist. 

"Okay so you hold a taco like this, right?" Waverly adjusted Nicole's fingers and put the hotdog in her hand. "Its also how you hold a hotdog, right?" 

Nicole opened her eyes, "okay yeah sure but what about if you have the buns separated? It's a sandwich." She put the hotdog on the plate and pulled the two pieces or bread apart. "You have your bottom slice of bread. You put the wiener in the middle. You put the other piece of bread on top. Boom! Sandwich!"

"Its still not a sandwich!" 

"How? Explain to me how it is not? A sandwich is defined by two slices of bread with stuff in the middle!"

"NOT IF YOU HAVE TO FORCIBLY PULL IT APART!" 

"You fucking understand that's how sliced bread works right?" Nicole glanced at Waverly who was staring intently on the hotdog.

"No you slice the bread in pieces!" Waverly looked up at Nicole. 

"Dude that's literally what I just did!"

"Dude, Nicole, babe, love, sweety, you did not fucking slice the bun. I literally, and I can't emphasis this enough, just watched you pull apart the fucking bun."

"Its still technically sliced." Nicole smirked. 

"Its not though. Get an end piece of bread and fucking fold it like a taco, YES A TACO, it makes it a hotdog bun because the end slices of bread are literally the hotdog buns because no one likes the end slices!"

"Okay, just wait..." Nicole grabs a slice of bread from a bag. "You have a wiener. " She grabs the hotdog from the bun. "You have a slice of bread, not a hotdog bun." She places the hotdog in the slice of bread and rolls it up. "Its a sandwich." 

"Holy shit..." Waverly stares at Nicole in disbelief. "I am literally in love with a moron. That is not a sandwich? How is that a sandwich?"

"How is it not? By your definition its bread with insides!"

"It needs to have a top and a bottom! Not just one giant round thing! That's a swiss roll at this point!" 

"Fool! If I take every slice of the bread and flatten them out into one giant line and then I put peanutbutter on one side and jelly on the other and I roll it up it's still a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich!"

"If you make anything like that sort in this house you are immediately going to get kicked out." 

"But is it still a sandwich?"

"What?! Of course not? It's a fucking wrap!" Waverly huffed and sat down at her computer before furiously typing.

"So a sandwich from subway, you know the food chain, is that considered a taco because they dont slice their sandwiches all the way through." Nicole sat at the table, across from Waverly. 

"No! It's still a sandwich! Its literally in the name." Waverly was scrolling through something she came across.

"But according to you, it's a taco. It has a bottom and two sides!" The redhead crossed her arms over her chest. 

"Okay first of all, sandwich is literally in the name. Second of all," Waverly turns her screen towards Nicole. "Cube rule!" 

The two girls are looking at a page Waverly had brought up on her laptop. It has an image that says "Classic sandwiches" and names off the basic types of sandwiches. Scrolling down they see more explaining how originally they said hotdogs were sandwiches, causing Nicole to smirk. Further down it has other food items being brought into the debate, like ravioli being potarts, poptarts being calzones, etc. Which brings them to someone talking about the cube rule. 

The cube rule shows an image with a piece of toast. Then two slices of bread labeled as 'sandwich'. Next to it there is three pieces of bread, one on bottom two on the sides, labeled as a 'taco'. Sushi is four slices. Soup is five slices. And six is a calzone. 

The image goes more in depth about the different types of food and how the image goes to them, like pizza being considered toast. And how a subway sandwich that isnt cut all the way through, is in fact a taco. 

"Nope! Your website is full of lies!" Nicole quickly takes her phone out of her pocket and types quickly, fingers flying over the different letters.

"What? It's literally in the rules! How can you deny it!" 

"Okay, babe, Waves. The definition of a sandwich is two distinct slices of bread -"

"HA SO I WIN!" Waverly gets out of her chair and does a little dance. "So I win, uh-huh I'm right, you're wrong!" 

"But!" Nicole starts off, causing Waverly to stop dancing and stand in place. "It is also a split roll having a filling inbetween!" Nicole places her phone on the table. "I rest my case." 

"A split roll is not a fucking sandwich! What is wrong with people!" Waverly sits back down and starts typing again. 

Theres a loud bang at the front door as it slams opened, causing the two startled girls to quickly jump out of their chairs. 

"Hey you two!" Wynonna Earps voice is heard echoing. "We're getting food. Let's fucking go! I want to get there before they run out of pie!" 

Waverly smiles to herself and leans into Nicole, "pie is considered toast."

"Waverly," Nicole grabs Waverlys hand and leans forward for a quick kiss. "I love you and you are so cute but we are not done with this conversation."

Waverly shrugs, "theres a reason I never lost debates on the debate team!" She says in a sing song voice as she bounces towards the front door, dragging a love struct Nicole with her.


End file.
